I'm a nerrrrd man ..

Wow.. I am THEE biggest nerd I know. I downloaded over 500+ Legend of Zelda Soundtrack songs. And probably about another 200+ other video game soundtrack songs. AND 20+ Deadmau5 songs <3 Holy friiiig. Love em. Anyways, I'm going back to Oshawa today. Hopefully later than 4 or 5 because ma boyfraaand ain't showing up to Oshawa until 9ish tonight and he said when he gets to Oshawa he's going to catch a bus to my place :) hehe. I'm really hungry right now. Well my mommy is making oatmeal muffins.. YUM! There are DELICIOUS when they just come out of the oven. Well.. ALL muffins usually are. Yum yumsssss, so hungrrrrrry :( Maybe on the way back up to Oshawa, I'll get my dad to buy me some tim-bits! :D

Why..

Is everything so fucky lately. One thing gets fixed and then another thing gets fucked up and blaaah. I hate this crap so much..

I'm clearly a loner or not wanted or something .

Basically, all my friends went to a bar tonight. And what am I doing?.. I'm sitting here blogging while they are all having fun. Well this is how it goes down. We got ready and all got in the car and drove to the on campus bar called Shagwell's. When we got there we stood in line. Nobody decides to tell me that this bar wants to see government issued ID to get INTO it. I know, I know. *Amber.. it's a bar.. they always ask for ID* Well I know that BUT I thought it was a restaurant/bar. You know, where if you're not drinking they still let you in without you having to show that you're 19. Well anyways, once I knew that, the person who drove us there was leaving and LUCKILY I caught him when I ran out. While in the line though, I kept frantically telling my boyfriend I WOULDN'T get in and I knew I wouldn't be getting it. He kept telling me I would, then our friend Tyler says, there's no way you're getting in there without government ID, so I said to my boyfriend, well want to come back to residence with me so I'm not stuck looking like a loner? He said "Well, I really kind of want to go into the bar." This is when I said, fine give me your card key for your room, and I'll just go stay there, you guys can have fun." He gave it to me and just told me to grab my birth certificate and come back. So then I ran out to find our friend Mike (The one who drove us there) and he drove me back to residence where I had to get past the front desk without a card key that was mine. Since I don't live on residence, I don't HAVE a card key and had my boyfriends instead and KNEW I wouldn't be able to get by because it's not my card and they won't let me by. Well they only usually want to see the card but not any specific part of it. I covered the picture and just showed then end of it while walking by and WALLA.. They let me go by, and I got up into the room. Now I'm sitting here blogging about this while they are all at the bar having fun. Seeing as after 2am, you are not allowed to sign anyone in.. I don't know how my boyfriend is going to get up here without his card key.. I have it, and if I go down there to give it to him, I will have to sign in, but again.. after 2 am they don't let you sign people in and the bar closes at 2 which is when they will be coming back. So I texted my boyfriend telling him that he is going to have to tell residence that he FORGOT his key up in his room OR just get his roommate Tyler to run up to the room and come grab it because I want to go to bed now because I am tired, I have a class at 11-2 then I'm going home for the weekend. Yep. Lovely..

Happy .

I'm so happy that everything is all better. My boyfriend stopped being a prick and yesterday he texted me telling me I could go over to his place if i wanted. I said that I couldn't because I was on the bus already on the way to my house. La la la, some time went by and I told him to come to my house and stuff to help me with the groceries and stuff and so he did and then we went to my house and had hot dogs and kraft dinner, and when I was doing the dishes, I told him to dry them and he put the cloth down and came up behind me and hugged me around my waste and said, I want to hug you. I thought it was so sweet. He hasn't just came up behind me and hugged me like that in a LOOONG time. I told him that it completely made my day. When we first got to my house though (before we ate and did the dishes) he sat on my bed and went and sat beside him and he just grabbed me and hugged me so tightly like saying sorry. After we were done at my house, we went to the bus stop and it was freezing outside and he looked at the time that the bus was coming and he read the wrong time, and we actually had to wait another hour. So then we went and sat in PIzza Pizza and bought garlic bread and pop, went back out for the bus, got on and went to the school and went up to his residence room at like 11 I took a shower, was done at 12 then and went to sleep. Well.. we didn't end out sleeping until 2:30 cause he kept tickling me and kissing me, so I couldn't fall asleep lol. He was like "We play around too much." And we do when we're bored and can't sleep we just like wrestle and tickle the crap out of each other haha it's so cute. And I love spending time with him <3

I'm glad everything is all good with him <3

gapituhgjkfndlbzat

I hate the feeling you get when you're SO upset that you don't even know what to do with yourself.. Yup, I have that feeling right now. I have food and a drink in front of me and I feel hungry and thirsty then I look at it and say no, I can't because I really don't have an appetite for it anymore. And I don't have an appetite because I'm in such a depressive mood. I have been all weekend. I was enjoying my weekend at home but I still felt REALLY down. And I hardly ate all weekend DUE to it. I just can't help it. I completely lose my appetite. I can't stand someone being mad at me for no reason or for something I didn't do. I don't DESERVE to be ignored because someone is mad at ME for no reason. It is REALLY unfair. This whole situation is unfair. You told me something that you did that made me REALLY angry and you tried to say sorry and hugged me and said sorry again but I knew it wasn't THAT big of a deal and I knew that I couldn't stay mad at you forever because of it and within ten minutes I forgave you and everything was okay. But YOU.. You hold a grudge against me like I killed something close to you. I simply complain about something and BAM, silent treatment for so far six days.. Wow. I hold a grudge for ten minutes because you do something I'm not going to mention and you hold a SIX day grudge because I complained.. I don't understand you or your mind or what goes through your mind. But seriously, I don't deserve this whatsoever. You make it seem like I'm the bad guy and you always try and put everything on me. Well it's not fair and you're not fair to me.. I remember when you used to say stuff like "You're Beautiful" or "You mean everything to me" or "I would be lost without you.." You hardly ever say stuff like that to me anymore, you hardly EVER kiss me anymore, and yeah sure you will say we kiss ALL the time but that's because I KISS YOU, you haven't kissed ME for months, you don't hug me, you're always pushing me away and I can't stand it anymore. Let's trade spots for a while, so you can honestly feel how I feel.. I'll get mad at you for say simply not answering me when I talk to you.. That's how little of something you get mad at me for. Its UNFAIR and immature.

Hope you start to realize what you do to me..

wow, fucking WOW!

Well my happy mood just went down the drain.. SERIOUSLY!? look at this and I will explain myself afterwards of why I'm angry at this.


This is my boyfriends current facebook status..

"food, then going to hopefully hand out some resumes and pick up some tequila, and maybe some others to try me some "Rocky Mountain Bear Fucker" since no one wanted to do shots saturday night"

PARDON ME!? Like okay for food and handing out resumes but ALCOHOL!? YOU NEVER DRINK! And every time we are together and with friends and everyone is drinking you get mad because I drink a little bit and always say you're not into drinking and you don't like drinking yet you'll down a bottle of tequila you asshole, what the fuck are you thinking. Shows how much fun you have without me fucking PRICK.

I'm so mad right now..

La la la ..

Happy for one reason and that is that THIS time I FINALLY got the block I wanted for classes. Last time I went to go pick classes there was only ONE block left THEREFORE, I was stuck in a class with people I didn't know. Which was alright cause I ended up liking my semester and meeting new people. Needless to say if I was in the other blocks I don't know how it would have went. This time, for picking out classes there was TWO blocks only. In the summer there was three.. meaning our classes are now bigger because we are separated into two classes. Lovely. I'm likely going to meet new people again and I have a few of my friends from this semester in the next semester class as well. Sounds good to me. A very very good UPSIDE to this is that I do not whatsoever have classes on Fridays! Exciting cause I can now go home on Thursdays after school :) Wheee! :D Kind of exciting. Christmas break is quickly approaching as well and I'm really excited. Mom started getting all the Christmas decorations and trees and stuff out. Stoked. I already have a couple of presents laying in the living room on the couch haha. I already know what they are too! That's because I went with my mom to pick stuff out for my sister but my mom said if I see something I want for Christmas to tell her and she'll get it. SO she got me a few things so far. She said she was going to go with Amanda this week to help pick stuff out for me since I helped pick stuff out for Amanda. My mom and I also bought my dad some sweet pyjamas. When I was coming home on Thursday after my classes, my dad had to stop at Canadian Tire. SO I went in with him. I found the cutest little dog sweater vest thing, and some cute little reindeer ears. I bought him BOTH and he looks awfully cute in both. My dad bought him this rubbery orange ball and he loves it too. Anyways, I don't really know what else to post but yeah, going back to Oshawa tonight. Not happy about it but four days of school then back home HOPEFULLY, but I'm going to guess right now.. I'll be staying in Oshawa this weekend. I hope not but I probably will. La La La.