i swear..

that I have autophobia..

Autophobia: An abnormal and persistent fear of loneliness, of being alone. A fear of solitude. Sufferers from autophobia may experience anxiety even though they realize that being alone does not threaten their well-being. They may worry about being ignored and unloved, or they may worry about intruders, strange noises or the possibility of developing a medical problem.

All of the things in bold italic, are ME..

Autophobia is the fear of being alone. And I really do have serious issues about being alone. I’m not a very independent person and I KNOW that I have to learn to be. But it’s hard. Especially when you haven’t been by yourself from the start really. Being shy also DOES not help whatsoever. If you are completely confident to walk down a street and talk to someone you don’t even know because you have to do it, than good for you. It’s obviously something you were born with and you are good at it. With me.. Well it’s a whole other story. If I was told to walk down a street and talk to someone I don’t know about something, first thing I do is ask someone if they want to come along, and then once I know somebody is going with me, I gain confidence and feel fine. But as soon as I have to be alone and in a situation I am not comfortable with, my confidence DROPS. I can’t handle being alone. It scares the crap out of me. Everybody always tells me.. Amber, you HAVE to learn to do stuff on your own or you’re not going to get anywhere in life. I know that. I’m just scared. I CAN do stuff on my own BUT I would rather not. People just don’t seem to understand me.